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I have been close companions with a woman, who has overcome several hardships, and I respect her for that. But, she has been repeatedly blindsided by people. Her partner left her, which came as a huge shock. Many of her social circle vanished during that time, as they were only interested in him. She was stunned by her deeply. She put in more effort toward our bond, and must have realised more clearly the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern of Disappearance

In the time since, several close to her vanished without her being certain of the reason. Her previous job became hostile, although she was an excellent employee, and she left without knowing the reason for the change.

Present Situation

Recently, both of us stepped back from work and are seeing time together, but I am finding my position in the relationship feels one-sided. I introduce subjects only for her to redirect the talk toward her own topics. Politically, she holds unyielding views. I attempt to recommend factchecking and alternate views.

She's been planning a holiday to a country I know well on several occasions and lived in previously. I tried to offer insights, however, my input met with resistance. She essentially only wanted validation of her plans. I've just ended four weeks in that country she hopes to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend who abandons suddenly without explanation, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the effect of her actions on my self-esteem. Right now, I find myself in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to walk away, but it is rarely the easy answer we imagine. But confrontation aiming for a solution takes courage and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates using a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially is to state what typically happens during your discussions. It should be objective and clear and essentially exactly what occurs. Next involves sharing her how it affects you emotionally. This allows for no dispute on this point. Your feelings are your feelings, of course. The third step is to ask ways you together will alter the pattern in your relationship."

Keep in mind that she also holds perspectives, so you need to be prepared to listen to her. One effective method is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I promise to not say anything for half an hour."

It's remarkably effective to encourage better communication.

Closing Considerations

Your friend might reject all you say, since certain individuals hold onto a deep-seated story: they maintain a story regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of since their identity is tied to it being the only thing they trust. It's tough as there is no clear path with these people, just dead ends. Yet she could start out defensively before reflecting on your words. And even if you don't achieve an agreement, you'll have closure from having been open and direct.